Wisdom

It is not without thought that I undertake to write. My mind has been churning since my last post. The mash-up of the carts (as in the last post) has continued producing some new awareness and insight. While my "being" has been deeply affected by my process in the last quarter, I think I have resolved a great conflict in my mind between the last post and this one. And hopefully, who I am being, from this point forward, is all the wiser for the experience.

I'll never be twenty-something again. While I have, seemingly all my life, said I would go to architecture school some day, I realize that the day may have come and passed when it would have been easiest / best to accomplish this task. My expectations of life are different now than when I made this goal proclamation at twenty-five, thirty-five and forty-five. This is not to say that I have changed my mind about the immediate goal at hand; for, in fact, my resolve is even stronger. Still I am now aware that I cannot relive my past.

I may have wanted to have the archetypal collegiate experience; to pick up where I left off, some thirty years ago. I suppose I wanted, all those years, to regain an experience I lost, misplaced, or one that was disrupted by my circumstances. As it turns out, I am having a different experience than the one I thought I wanted, during all those years. And the lesson, in that awareness is this: The meaning behind the phrase "you can't go home again" is that every experience one has had changed the way you were.

The way I address a situation today is so completely different than the way I might have addressed that same situation at twenty-something. This applies to school work, and the collegiate experience, professional work, and social settings. It applies when I speak to a colleague from school about a project on which we are working. It applies when I speak to a professor about their work, their life-long interests, and their aspirations. I cannot not bring this experience to bear as it has shaped me, changed my expectations, and made me who I am. I must bring this experience to every situation as I cannot un-live my life.

And this is an existential difference between me and my "peers" at school. Unique in its international connections, the school has a very diverse population. To generalize the experiences of the many students does not serve well each individual situation. Yet, while I don't disregard their unique experiences, it is clear that our paths have been different, if only for the amount of time I have wandered along my path. My exposure to the world has not been virtual. My experience in the design field has been first-hand (with so many lessons learned that are not taught in school). My travels and travails have been formative and substantive in ways that are simply not possible at age twenty-something. Or even at age thirty-something and forty-something;

An example of the differences in life experience became obvious during my last quarter. Having worked on two 400 unit multi-family housing projects in developments in Cairo, ARE , and a third multi-housing project of 375 units on the Mediterranean coast of Egypt, near El Alamein, I have some first-hand knowledge of how a building like this gets put together in reality. I can't unlearn what I know of design and construction in the real world; just as I must bring my life's experience to bear in every circumstance in which I live.

My studio project last quarter was a multi-unit housing project. When I shared with my group my experience as demonstrated in my portfolio, they were motivated to share their portfolio of school design projects (never built, never tested by MEP engineers for compatibility with A/C ducting, plumbing, and electrical codes, never evaluated for structural engineering, with design theories never tested by professional peers in other related fields...) I was absolutely stunned by the arrogance and ignorance I represented in feebly trying to demonstrate my experience and qualifications, and that which I received in return. What I learned is that a twenty-something with virtual world experience has a blinding grasp of enthusiasm and energy; no matter the experience.

This lesson was reinforced in the development of the NewSchool Haiti Project . In my proposal (see 9 February 2010 posting) I outlined some approaches to the problem of dealing with the apparent lack of understanding about earthquake resistant construction in Haiti . In my proposal I suggest creating a graphic communication response teaching suitable building techniques.

The twenty-something response to my proposal was so enthusiastic. I was amazed at the burst of energy which was showered upon the project. As a fifty-something, I was somewhat overwhelmed by the enthusiasm for doing something physical. In the end, the project went two directions at once; developing a physical prototype and purpose-built solution to housing crises on one hand, while continuing to educate ourselves about the focus of aid in response to disaster on the other. In the end, the group decided, based upon the participation of an individual providing medical care on the ground in Haiti, that our best approach was to abandon the physical response (as other groups could do this far more efficiently and cost effectively). We decided to do this in favor of an educational emphasis including graphic communication of information about suitable means of building to resist earthquake.

A corollary lesson for me here was learning that I had great instinctual response when considering the project proposal and suggested approach. What I didn’t have was the ability to communicate my vision at the start in a way that marked a clear course. And, I had the overwhelming energy and enthusiasm of the twenty-something response to the situation. This blind ambition overpowered my sensible approach only to come back, at conclusion, to the place where I proposed we start. This is not to say that our efforts were for naught. For in the process, the group has learned and is changed by that learning. And we now are clearly aware of our next step.

Today the NewSchool Haiti Project is not new. Haiti is less and less in the news. The urgent issues that seemed to drive the participation of the twenty-something students are not so urgent any more. And the problem of a cultural lack of understanding of suitable building techniques still remains. It will be interesting to see what this new quarter brings in the way of progress toward this goal. And the interesting thing, for me, will be learning leadership.

To a certain extent, I have been able to have some of the collegiate experience I was seeking at NewSchool. My work on the Haiti Project has developed some new friendships that I will carry with me throughout my life. Still, I am aware that one has totally different priorities at age fifty-something then when age twenty-something; or even thirty-something. And that, my friends, is the real difference in my experience.

W. Edward Demming is reported to have said: “Change is not necessary. Survival is not mandatory.” And yet, to live is to experience change, even as we resist it through our attachment to ideas, ideals, hopes and dreams. Experience is change. To deny it is counter to the life force and process. And this process goes on, ad-infinitum, as long as we live. As the saying goes, "you get old, or you get dead; there are only two options." Hopefully, we also become wise as we get old.